Maurice Clarett Pleads Guilty
Former Ohio State Buckeye running back gets jail time
The world of sports is full of stupid people, but Maurice Clarett is the king of this hill.
Maurice Clarett is the stupidest human being on the planet. I can't come up with an eloquent way to put it. There's just no tap-dancing around this fact. I've thought about it long and hard, and I can't think of anyone else as completely devoid of intelligence as Clarett.
This is a pretty startling revelation, I'll grant you, considering all of the monumentally stupid people in the world. Clarett, though, heads the list.
The former National Champion running back for the Ohio State Buckeyes will serve 3 ½ years of jail time for aggravated robbery and carrying a concealed weapon - just two of a slew of felony charges against the 22-year-old.
Sure, young people make mistakes, and we've got a wealth of robbers, gunslingers and batterers, who all are pretty stupid. Only Clarett, though, was just one year removed from the National Football League, when his sentence was doled out. That's right, in 2005, the former OSU glamour boy was in training camp with the Denver Broncos, a third-round NFL draft pick.
The trail of lunacy for Clarett began back in his final days with Ohio State, when he decided to leave school after his freshmen season and contest a rule that said he was too young to enter the NFL draft.
Convinced by family and friends (all stupid people) that he was ready for the NFL and that the league couldn't keep him out, Clarett was on the news almost daily, spitting out more drivel than Allen Iverson on a good day. Forced to wait a year to get drafted, Clarett got mixed up with some bad people and spent most of his days driving expensive cars, frequenting bad bars and apparently downing cheeseburgers faster than Bluto.
When Mike Shanahan and the Broncos selected the less-than-svelte Clarett - a move debated to this day - the running back took on the challenge in true Clarett fashion. He moved slowly on the field, missed meetings off of it and slept through the ones he attended, while sitting in the front row, no less.
A few weeks into the season, he was cut by Denver, and Clarett's stupidity reached epic proportions. While supposedly working out, so he could get another chance at the NFL, it was reported that Clarett owed some nefarious characters a lot of money. Soon, Clarett was stealing more often than Robin Hood and with intentions that weren't as altruistic.
To cap off about 24 months of bad decisions and complete ineptitude, Maurice Clarett was captured by police, adorned in body armor and toting enough fire power to out-duel The Terminator. This was enough for a judge to finally put the clamps on Clarett's antics and send him packing.
"I'd like to apologize. . ." Clarett said, without specifying for what he was sorry.
I wonder if he's sorry for his actions or for being the stupidest person on earth.
