Timberwolves Eddie Griffin Sued
Minnesota basketball center was drunk, unlicensed, and watching porn when he crashed into a parked SUV.
The NBA enjoyed great ratings for the 2006 playoffs, but Eddie Griffin is a stark reminder that player news just keeps getting worse.
I can't remember the last time I had to begin my column with a disclaimer, but here goes. If you hate moron bashing, and you simply can't stomach another ridiculous act by an NBA player, you may want to click to a different article, because Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin is simply too large a target, both literally and figuratively, to let this one pass.
Griffin was recently the subject of a police report, explaining how he ran his Cadillac Escalade into another person's SUV. Hmm, an NBA player involved in something off the court that is not charity work. Certainly not surprising for the professional sports league that has more near felons than most high-security prisons. But the story gets worse.
You see, Griffin allegedly was drunk (big shocker) and without a driver's license. Now, both of these mistakes might be forgivable, if the offender were a 17-year-old, celebrating high school graduation in a vacant lot. Griffin is a high-profile professional basketball player, however, who had just left a game. Oh, and the story gets worse.
Intoxication, it seems, played a small role in the crash. Griffin was distracted by a pornographic video, running on a portable DVD player, mounted on the dashboard of his Escalade. Oh, and the story gets worse.
The Twolves center was lost in so much self-pleasuring that he couldn't keep his vehicle away from the parked Chevy Suburban, in front of Santana Foods, near the Target Center in Minneapolis. It was reported that Griffin discussed the matter with the owner of the Suburban in the store, in front of surveillance cameras, creating some marvelous theater. Believe it or not, the story gets worse.
Mortified at the idea of being reported (because he didn't have a license, not for masturbating in public), Griffin reportedly offered to purchase a new car for the man, whose SUV Griffin had just mangled, during an episode of something that likely begins with "Debbie Does. . ." A lawsuit has been filed, so the idea of a new vehicle obviously didn't impress the victim.
So, the NBA has yet another farcical story to further damage its already sullied image. Players leave the court to beat down jeering fans; coaches berate officials to the point of spitting in their faces; and stars set examples by saying that practice isn't important. Now, the NBA has a self-abusing, porn-watching drunk driver, careening into parked cars, during very intimate private encounters.
For something that resembles a Saturday Night Live sketch, where the NBA is concerned, it's not remotely humorous, and the stories just keep getting worse.
